Thursday, September 24, 2009

I Still Remember

It was a little over five years ago, but I still remember it quite well. It was the Friday of a long Labor Day weekend when I was in 8th grade. I went to Harkin's Theatre to watch Napolean Dynamite with Jamie Richardson. The movie was great and we had a blast just like we always did.
My mom came and picked us up after the movie was over. Jamie's family wasn't home so she said she could go home to her empty house or her mom said it would be fine if she just came to my house until her family came home. I thought my mom's response to that was kinda weird. She said we were going to have a "family meeting." I wasn't sure what that meant at all. It was weird to me. The first thing I thought of was Adam on his mission is Brazil. I'm not sure why, for some reason I thought something was going to be wrong with him. I was getting worried, and I was still confused. My mom didn't really seem to be freaking out like I would have expected if she knew something was wrong with him. So we just took Jamie home then we went home.
Nobody was acting weird.. it was my normal house, with the normal people, doing the normal things... But since I knew we were having this "family meeting" I was probably being weird. Anyway, my dad called everyone into the family room I don't really remember everything my dad said. Something about not all relationships working out.. blah blah blah. Then he said he would be moving out for a little while. Talk about your stomach leaving you and falling to the floor. That was the last thing I would have expected to come out of his mouth. I was completely shocked. We finished our little "meeting" and I just wanted to go to my room. I was walking down the hall passed the bathroom and my naive little mind was thinking, he said "little while" that meant they would work it out and everything would be normal by Christmas. I actually thought that. Ha. Boy was I wrong.
My mom came into my room later... I did not want to talk. Kayla came in later and said she knew it would be okay because her friend Andee's parents were divorced, and she was just fine. I scringed at the word divorce. Then she straight up asked, "Are you gettting divorced?" It was an obvious question, but it was never clarified.. it seemed like everyone was avoiding the word. My mom said yes. It was THEE WORST NEWS I had ever heard. I still didn't talk to anyone.
My mom got the cd player from the family room and put it in my room. She put the song, "Where can I Turn for Peace" on repeat. I don't think I had ever heard that song before. Now it's one of my favorites. I didn't feel a rush of, oh everything is going to be fine and dandy. But I did know that everything was going to be okay, and that I had people all around me that could help me.
Everytime I think of this I think what a naive little mind I had. I had no idea this was coming.. but then when I go back and think on the events right around it I have no idea why we didn't all see it coming. There were so many hints that I had noticed, but just ignored. This just had never crossed my mind. Maybe I jinxed myself in 6th grade though... I can't rememebr who it was.. but they were talking about their family and how they had this many real siblings. this many half siblings. and this many step siblings. I was confused about that stuff. So I was thinking., "Gee, I sure am glad I will never have to deal with all that stuff." haha. I love the irony. I would rather have just educated myself on that section by reading a good book.
But actually it's not that bad. It's nothing I can't handle. It was just different and took some getting used to. It was a big lifestyle change that has brought other changes with it - some are harder than others for me. But it really isn't that bad and maybe contrary to what I thought at that time.. my life is great! I have grown a lot because of it too.. i'm not so naive anymore.. ha. and I stopped thinking that certain things would never happen to me. haha. But all is good. I have learned so much and am a better person because of it. I have seen so many tender mercies that have come along with it. My testimony and dependence on the Lord have increased grealy. Everything happens for a reason. And I am convinced that, if you look, you will find good in every situation. I have found a lot of good that has come from this and I think it's probably safe to say that I will continue to find more.


Tara said...

I don't know how I would have dealt with it, I'm not sure how I would've reacted. I've always thought that things like that only happen to other people. It was kind of a wake up call for me, even though it didn't even happen directly to me. I know it's been hard for you. It was kind of eye-opening to me to read it from your perspective too, I never really heard that side of the story. I like this idea of the whole blog-post thing. So I got a google account just so I could post my little commentary. Just want you to know that I love you and miss you!

Gundy said...
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Keri said...

One of the many reasons why I love the Gunderson family...cause you are the toughest and most amazing people ever. Especially you Hannah.

Zoe Brimhall said...

I love you Hannah. I also love that hymn too. And Keri is right, you guys are an amazing family. I always liked going over to your house. And you are one of my favorite people ever. You are proof that bad things happen, but we can make the best of them and overcome and live and be stronger as a result.